


Stepping Up

by blacktithe



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 04:46:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20847740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacktithe/pseuds/blacktithe
Summary: Steve asking him to take the shield was not something Sam was prepared for. The only thing he was less prepared for were the consequences his actions would bring.





	Stepping Up

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted to Tumbler for star-spangled-bingo and Kari’s MCU What If Challenge. 
> 
> Special thanks to Julia for betaing this fic.
> 
> I do not own Marvel or any of the characters found therein. No disrespect is meant to any of the creators. This is a work of fiction intended for entertainment purposes only.

The late afternoon light glitter across the polished metal as Sam held it in front of his chest. 

“How does it feel?”

Sam lifted his eyes to look at his dearest friend, a man he looked up to more than anyone else on this earth. Steve Rogers was old and grey now. Despite all that, the spark in his eyes told Sam that there was plenty of life in the old man yet.

“Like it belongs to someone else,” he replied.

It was true. Sam felt like a little boy dressing up in his favorite Halloween costume. He had often wondered what it would feel like to hold the iconic symbol, but he had never imagined it feeling like this.

It was lighter than he would have imagined. The leather on the grip was soft and warm, almost inviting, but a weight settled inside of his chest as he held it. There was an undeniable responsibility to lead tied to the shield that Sam couldn’t help but feel when he held it.

“Well, it doesn’t.”

Sam nearly swallowed his tongue in shock. “What?”

Steve gave him a knowing smile. “There is nobody else I’d want to carry on my legacy than you.”

Sam turned his head to look towards the other hundred year old super soldier visiting the Stark estate that day. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes went back farther than anyone else in living memory. They practically read each other’s minds in a fight. They’d stood by each other through everything. Why wouldn’t Steve give the shield to him? It didn’t make sense.

“Shouldn’t you be giving this to somebody else?” Sam inclined his head towards Bucky.

Steve followed his line of sight. Bucky gave him a slight smile and nodded. Steve returned the gesture before lifting his gentle eyes towards Sam.

“I’m giving it to you for a reason, Sam,” he told him. “There’s nobody else I’d want to have it.”

Keeping the gobsmacked expression off of his face was nearly impossible, but Sam managed to pull himself together. He looked down at the shield still strapped to his arm. The more he looked at it, the heavier it became. The weight pulled on his shoulder until he found his arm dropping down to his side.

Sam slid his arm from the hold and carefully passed the symbol of virtue back to its rightful owner.

A shadow of sadness crossed Steve’s features and sent a pang of shame through Sam’s heart. The last thing he wanted to do was disappoint his friend, but he knew that accepting the shield would mean much more than just gaining a new uniform. It would be accepting a leadership role that he was in no way prepared to take.

The easy smile returned to Steve’s face. “That’s alright,” he said. “I’ll keep it safe until you’re ready.”

“What makes you think I’ll ever be ready?”

Steve looked down, his grin widening. “Call it a hunch.” Putting the shield back in its leather case. Steve rose slowly to his feet and held his hand out towards his fellow Avenger. “I’ll see you around Sam.”

“See ya later, Cap.”

Steve shook his head joyfully. Picking up the shield case, he patted Sam on the shoulder and started making his way towards the driveway were an all too familiar motorcycle was waiting.

As he watched him go, Sam couldn’t help but feel guilty. Steve may have said it was okay, but Sam could tell he was less than happy about his refusal. He just didn’t know how he could accept. Steve left some very big shoes to feel. Shoes that Sam knew he didn’t deserve.

* * *

Y/N leaned her head back against Sam’s shoulder and looked up at the stars while he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

The small warehouse Tony had turned into a backup facility and safe house wasn’t nearly as expansive as the one Thanos had destroyed, but it would serve as a good base of operations while they rebuilt. There was going to be a lot of work for the Avengers in the days to come. That was something they could all bet on.

“So,” Y/N began, tilting her head so that she was looking up at Sam’s face, “why did you turn him down?”

Sam looked away from the twinkling stars to the woman in his arms. He paused for a moment, trying to find a way to explain the thoughts running through his head. 

He’d been asking himself the same thing over and over again since Steve had offered him the shield. He had passed on an honor that men would literally kill for. The more he thought about it, the more he realized it boiled down to one simple fact.

“I’m a soldier,” Sam told her. “You give me a mission, and I complete it. I take the orders. I don’t give them.”

Y/N turned in Sam’s arms. “But you could,” she told him. “The team doesn’t have a clear leader right now. Carol is off-planet, and Steve and Tony well…” She placed her hand on his cheek, running her thumb across his cheekbone. “I think you’d be amazing.”

Sam smiled down at her. The unwavering belief she had in him was astounding. She’d acted like he’d hung the moon ever since their first mission together. She always saw the best in him, and he had no idea how she did it.

Taking her hand from his cheek, he kissed the back of her hand before resting it against his heart. “How do you know that?”

“Because I know you.”

Sam gave her a loving smile as he leaned in to press a tender kiss to her lips. She cupped the back of his head with her free hand and pulled him closer just as a familiar electronic voice filled the air.

“Mr. Wilson? Ms. Y/L/N?”

Sam groaned as he pulled away from his girlfriend. “What is it FRIDAY?”

The A.I. answered. “A large disturbance has just been reported twenty miles east of Hakone.”

Y/N patted him on the chest. “Guess that means it’s time to suit up.”

Sam couldn’t keep the look of disappointment from his face. “This isn’t over,” he told her. “We are finishing this when we get home.”

She threw him a flirtatious smile over her right shoulder as she disappeared through the doorway to get ready for their unexpected mission.

* * *

Things had gone sideways the second the jet had landed in Japan. The disturbance FRIDAY had told them about had turned out to be an elaborate setup. Somebody out there wanted to make sure that was left of the Avengers was wiped out for good. Apparently there were some people out there that still held resentment towards them for allowing “the blip,” as they called it, to ever happen.

Sam pulled his pistol and shot down another enemy before darting up into the air to survey the area. The constant chatter in the coms was making it impossible for him to understand what was going on. Everyone was talking over one another and shouting to be heard above the rest. It was maddening.

“What the hell is this?” Wanda asked through the coms

“There are more coming in from the South,” Rhodey said.

“I need some help over here,” came another voice

“Does anybody copy?”

Sam felt like his head was going to explode. Everything was chaos. He was used to the heat of battle. Things always got hectic when bullets were flying, but this, this was something else entirely.

Y/N’s voice floated through his brain. The team doesn’t have a clear leader right now.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He’d never wanted this. Never sought it, but sometimes circumstances force us into positions we never imagined.

“Alright everyone,” he said through the coms, “listen up. This is what we are going to do.”

* * *

The few enemies left standing were fleeing the field. Several buildings lay in ruins, but the team had been able to keep any of the locals from becoming casualties.

“Everyone, report,” Sam ordered into the coms.

Scott and Hope emerged from one of the damaged buildings and started making their way over to him. One by one, the others started reporting where they were. A feeling of panic started to settle in his chest when he realized there was one voice that was markedly absent.

“Y/N, where are you?”

Silence.

He looked at his team for answers, but they all shook their heads. Nobody had seen her.

“Sam,” Y/N’s pained voice crackled to life in his ear.

“Y/N? Where are you?” Nothing. Sam’s breathing began to accelerate. “Y/N?” Something was wrong. She had sounded like she was in pain, and if it was bad enough that she couldn’t answer him… He had to find her. 

“I’ll take a lap,” said Rhodey, firing up his suit and rising slowly into the air.

Sam nodded and pointed to the south. “You check that way. I’ll go around the other. Everybody spread out. Watch each other’s six.”

The crew nodded before dispersing to search for their missing teammate.

Sam struggled to stay in control of his emotions as he flew over the battlefield looking for any signs of her. He resorted back to his training. Repeating the steps over and over again in his head, but it was no use. Each second that passed made the frantic feeling in his chest grow. He had to find her.

“Sam!” Wanda’s voice sounded in his ear. “I found her.”

“Where are you?”

A plume of scarlet energy shot into the air a few clicks to his right. Sam quickly cut in that direction, pushing his wings to the limit to get him there as quick as possible. His mind raced with a thousand and one scenarios as to what he would find when he landed, but none of them prepared him for what he was about to see.

He started running the second his boots hit the ground. He could see Wanda kneeling a few yards away, looking down at something. She slowly turned to look at him, and the pitying look on her face made his heard drop. Her head turned back in the direction she was looking when his eyes spotted Y/N lying motionless on the ground with a large piece of rebar from one of the dilapidated buildings piercing her side.

The offending piece of metal had entered through her back and run all the way through to the front of her body. 

Sam’s breathing nearly stopped. She didn’t look alive. Blood was streaming from the wound in her side and trickling from the corner of her mouth. If it hadn’t been for the sound of her slow rattling breaths and the subtle rise and fall of her chest, Sam would have thought she was a corpse.

Sam fell to his knees beside Wanda. He reached a hand towards Y/N, but he hesitated when he saw her head lull listlessly to the side. Her y/e/c eyes slowly focused on his face. Her blood-stained lips twitched into a smile that looked more like a grimace than an expression of joy.

“Hey Cap,” she rasped. She reached a blood coated hand towards him, and Sam carefully held it in his own.

“Hey yourself,” he said with a smirk, pushing aside his own fears to stay strong for her. 

She squeezed his hand, but the pressure was so light he could barely feel it. He watched her skin begin to take on an ashen quality as her eyes began to fall closed.

“Hey. Hey!” he called, cupping her cheek with his free hand. “Stay with me okay? I’m gonna get you out of here.” He pressed his fingers to his earpiece and called for a medic before turning his attention back to her. 

Y/N was struggling to keep her eyes open. Her lips quivered with effort as she tried to speak.

“Sa..,” she gasped.

“Shh. Shh,” Sam soothed. “It’s okay. I’ve got you. You just have to stay with me okay?” 

The sound of boots pounding the pavement as they approached sounded behind him, but Sam was to focused on the woman bleeding out in front of them to hear them. Her eyelids were growing heavier. He patted the side of her face. They fluttered like she was trying to open them, but it was no use. She wouldn’t respond.

“Y/N?” Sam felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. “Y/N?” he called again, the rising panic clear in his voice. He wanted to shake her, force her to look at him, but he was too afraid to hurt her. “Y/N!”

“Get back.”

A hand gripped his shoulder and pulled him aside. Sam stumbled, Y/N’s hand falling free from his own. Sam tried to move forward, but Rhodey took hold of his shoulders and held him back.

“Let them help, Sam.”

Sam stood there in silence as he watched the Wakandan king and his sister work to save Y/N’s life.

* * *

She looked almost peaceful as she lay unmoving on the bed. It had been nearly three days since the incident, and Y/N still hadn’t opened her eyes. Shiri had assured him more than once that she was going to be fine, but Sam couldn’t seem to make himself believe it. 

“Our technology is far more advanced than anything you would find in a normal hospital,” she told him. “It’s a good thing too. Anything less and Agent Y/L/N would not be with us.”

That fact more than anything was what had Sam so shaken. He had been afraid that he was watching Y/N die in front of him on that battlefield. The thought that something could still go wrong had him too afraid to leave her side for more than a minute. Taking care of himself didn’t matter. The only thing he cared about was her. 

His usually immaculately trimmed beard was becoming scraggly and rough. The only reason he’d even changed out of his uniform was because Bucky had convinced him that Y/N would kick his ass if she woke up to see him still covered in her blood.

Sam leaned forward to rest his head on the edge of her bed. He was so tired. Even his bones had begun to ache. He couldn’t sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he pictured her lying there on that battlefield, slowly bleeding to death in his arms. And every time she would ask him why. Why didn’t he step up sooner? Why didn’t he save her? This whole thing could have been prevented if he’d just taken the lead from the beginning. 

Those were the thoughts that terrified him the most. That he was responsible for her being hurt.

A small weight landed on the back of Sam’s head. He bolted upright. All of the muscles in his body coiled to strike until he saw Y/N’s y/e/c eyes blinking slowly up at him from the bed.

“Hey,” he said in an excited whisper. He wanted to launch himself at her, but he managed to hang on to his reserve. “There she is.” He took a seat on the edge of the bed and held her left hand in his own. “How are you feeling?”

She shifted a bit in the bed and winced from the pain. “Could be worse,” she said. “I don’t think the kabob look is agreeing with me.”

Sam tried to smile at her clear attempt at humor, but he failed. He didn’t even realize that he was silently crying until Y/N gingerly lifted her hand to wipe a tear from his cheek. Sam captured her hand in his hand and turned his head to place a kiss to her palm.

“I’m sorry,” he said, still holding her hand against his cheek. She frowned at him. “You were right. I should have stepped up when Steve asked me too, but I didn’t, and you…”

“If you try to say this is your fault I’m going to climb out of this bed and kick your ass.” Sam lifted his gaze to hers. “You taking over as Cap would not have kept me from letting my guard down. So don’t you dare blame yourself. Alright?”

Sam nodded his response. He didn’t believe her, but if agreeing would help keep her in bed so she could recover, he’d tell her anything she wanted to hear.

* * *

Music floated softly from the old record player in the corner as Steve settled into his favorite chair. It was a tune he and Peggy used to dance to on a regular basis. Peggy, how he missed her. Looking over at the shield resting in the corner, Steve found himself once again wondering if he had made the right decision. He didn’t regret his decision. If he was being honest with himself, he’d admit that he would willingly do it all again in a heartbeat. He just wasn’t sure if not talking things over with everyone before he left had been the right call. Maybe if he had, Sam would have taken the shield when he’d offered it.

A knock on his door pulled Steve from his thoughts. Steve rose to his feet and slowly made his way towards the front entrance. He could just make out the figure standing on the other side of the door through the pane of frosted glass in the center. A knowing smile spread across Steve’s face as he moved to open the door.

Sam looked up at the sound of the door opening. He gave his friend a smile.

“I think you have something of mine,” Sam told him.

Steve gave him a knowing smile and nodded. 

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos


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